


In Hell I'll Be In Good Company

by 48eyesand32teeth1sharptongue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 2019 reuploads, Bisexual Sam Winchester, Cas and Sam are asexual platonic buddies in this, Domestic Fluff, Don't copy to another site, Fluff, M/M, Past Abuse, Post-Episode: s13e18 Bring 'em Back Alive, Sam is Jack's Dad, This turned more into a broody Gabe character study, Trans Sam Winchester, angst recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:08:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24832843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/48eyesand32teeth1sharptongue/pseuds/48eyesand32teeth1sharptongue
Summary: Gabriel sticks around, and finds himself making cupcakes.
Relationships: Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Past Sam/Lucifer - Relationship, side Cas/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 36





	In Hell I'll Be In Good Company

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Takigawa Aki (mukur0)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mukur0/gifts).



> still reuploading old stuff, sorry about the disorganization.
> 
> I hope all is well!

Gabriel will admit, he doesn't exactly know what he is doing with his life.

Schmoozing at bars and seedier human establishments is more his deal when it comes to burying everything he doesn't want to think about.

But here he is, making cupcakes and brownies with his nephew and Sam, touting the homey oven mitts and all.

It's distinctly surreal, and Gabe isn't sure how he feels about that, considering that at his core he is still a tornado of light and sound and fury, and his issue should be understimulation, not some weird bizarre overstimulation from making tiny confectionery sweets that barely register over all the other sights and sounds and unseen things humans hardly pick up on.

Which is also his excuse. Can't fault a sweet tooth, after all, and no one can claim he's more sentimental than he lets on.

Even if being close to Sam is nice, and even if he'd rather Sam didn't keep trying to help him work through things he doesn't want to think about- even if he does feel some lingering responsibility there, because while he did help with the Apocalypse, that single solution did also lead to Sam swan diving into the Cage with his brother.

So maybe that's something he needs to work on, even if the guilt lingers.

(Gabriel does not like feeling guilty. It's his job to even the scores and settle the scales, not be the one on trial, even if Sam doesn't even see a need to forgive because he doesn't hold Gabriel responsible for his decisions, and because throwing Lucifer in the Cage, while the worst trauma of his life, also was the greatest thing Sam ever thought he did. Even if they are both still learning how to survive, after Hell and all those other decisions undid what Sam thought was the only thing keeping him afloat.)

But it might be a little more than that, because with Lucifer walking around again, he'd rather focus on anything else.

(Even if just looking at the kid messes him up. It's a little too close to who Lucifer was like before things went south, even if the kid is also a spitting image of Sam and a frenetic ball of sunshine, enough to even make Gabe almost want to be snide just to counteract it, which honestly, is a surprise. His schtick is being the upbeat one, and being usurped in the cute and deadly department is not always a plus, but he tries to focus on all the ways Jack reminds him of Sam and Castiel and not his elder brother.)

But that's the other half of why he's doing this. Truth be told, if he didn't feel some kind of connection, he wouldn't have stuck around. And maybe that's unfair- maybe it's just that he knows he's trouble and the kid and Sam have enough of that in their lives already. Maybe it's just he's tired of pretending they aren't family, too, and aren't just as much a victim of circumstance as him.

Maybe it's some long lost protective, guardian angel instinct. Gabriel might not be able to protect himself (not yet- although one day he will) from Lucifer, or Asmodeus, or all the ways he hasn't made peace with Michael and probably never will with Raphael either, after his death.

But he can try to move on, and let Sam help him move on, and try to help Sam come to terms with himself and all the things he isn't dealing with because he'd always rather focus on anyone else.

And maybe that's why this works.

Maybe they both know they have a lot to work on, and they both want to do better. They both want to change, and to grow, and to become people other than what everyone expected them to be.

And Gabriel thinks, it's okay to have a lot to learn.

Especially when Sam is the one doing a lot of the teaching.

(Especially when he could use a few more laughs and less blame, in his life.)

And as far as Jack goes...

Kid needs as many people in his corner as he can get, because if Gabe knows anything, he knows Lucifer is coming back, and he doesn't like taking no for an answer. Not from people he thought belonged to him, and not from people he considered blood and after everything, Gabe isn't going to let the kid suffer through it the way Gabriel did, once.

Not when he knows where it all will lead.

But hey. He can afford to make a few more quips. Brooding isn't his job, not when Sam makes the best mildly-annoyed faces and Jack is so easily led to laughter even when he doesn't catch a double entrendre a mile away. (Gabriel keeps a lid on this more often than not, and doesn't make Sam the focus of those jokes, instead opting for Dean to be the focus of the banter, 'specially since the guy gives as good as he gets.)

For Gabriel knows all the ways Lucifer coveted Sam Winchester, knows all the level of horror Sam won't talk about even if he doesn't know the details, because he knows all too well what his brother would do when faced with no, and knows all the way Sam Winchester has felt used and watched and made to be devoured all his life, by Lucifer and others, by all the things that tried to tell him he was one thing and would be their bitch forever.

It's one of the things Gabriel has to make up for. Standing by or trying to make them fold into the script of the Apocalypse even after he paid his dues and almost died because of it and took a trip to Hell just like Sam did, and while Gabriel thinks his dues might be considered paid, he doesn't think the scales are even yet.

Even if Sam is more focused on getting him to heal. Some pair they are- so focused on not focusing on themselves, that they do the dirty work for the other.

But maybe that's why it works out so well, because while they know how the other doesn't manage to deal with the skeletons in their closet, they also know how to counter it, how to stand in lock-step and work through it in the ways they wouldn't, alone, how to cut through all the extra noise and drag the truths the other person does not want to feel out so that they cannot run like they both would prefer.

(Or maybe, it is that they do not push boundaries they'd push with anyone else. They take things slow, press chaste kisses to each other's lips and don't go farther, or lay in bed with clothes on while Castiel munches on popcorn during netflix nights because it's not like Sam is going to kick him out of their routines and own arrangements just because Gabriel's joined in, and in the interim or all the ways they cross paths, they make sure touches to wrists are not too tight, and avoid knocking shoulderblades too hard or sneaking up on each other to touch and do not whisper in each other's ears because that leads to things that make them feel as remote and removed from the earth more than they ever have.)

Maybe, in some ways, Gabriel is as reticent as Dean when it comes to talking through this directly, even if he wears his emotions on his sleeve in a way Sam has taught himself not to. Maybe they both know the sizzle of flesh and sinew and things that are not, things that are not tied to body but to a song that makes up who they are, chords and feelings and things beyond mortal bloodlines and vessels and things. Maybe they know all too well what it is like to inhabit another skin or be inhabited, even if it's from the opposite direction.

But they both walked out on their families to make a better life, to not find love that was conditional, and to make their way in the world, and while they may not have been able to extricate themselves from what they still held on to or all that they had learned, they did still make it out, they still made what they were taught to be into their own, and they are still making a new claim and a new life just by keeping on and going with the flow of all the things thrown at them.

Maybe, that isn't the worst thing in the world, because if Gabriel knows anything, he knows how to dish out a hard brutal truth, even if he doesn't know how to take it, and if anyone can throw that back in his face and make him have to face the music, it's Sam Winchester and that endless empathetic patience that the world doesn't deserve, that Sam fought to keep despite everything trying to rip it out of his veins and turn him into something else...

The brownies have too much sugar, but Jack, Castiel, Dean, and Gabriel eat them anyway. (Sam opts for a fruit smoothie he made, and when Dean makes a quip about bacon, it's not just Castiel that levels him a glare which makes Dean shift and realize that it's not the best comedic timing.)

Not when the news is back on and Sam is fixated, frozen in time, and everything turns their fingers to static and drowns all the other sounds out as the reports of earthquakes and tsunamis starting up again in a way that is all too familiar.

**Author's Note:**

> Sam/Cas/Gabe stuff:
> 
> Sam apologizes for accidentally kicking Cas in the leg, but Cas shrugs, throwing more popcorn in his mouth as he keeps watching the movie.  
> "You two continue having your carnal relations, I want to see what happens next."  
> "It's not carnal if our clothes are on-" Gabriel argues. They may be dating but Sam isn't exactly one for sex, and Gabriel can get his kick of that so many other places, even if he reserves the physical and emotional intimacy for Sam alone.  
> "Your thoughts are carnal enough for an entire continent." Cas argues, rolling his eyes.  
> "Hold on. Cas, you've seen this before." Sam chimes in, his voice a little muffled from all the kissing.  
> "The familiarity is comforting."  
> "I see what you mean." Gabe muses. "You know, despite all the ways you've changed, bro, it's nice to see the ways you haven't."  
> "Your praise is worth so much." Cas deadpans.  
> "Right for the jugular." Gabriel laughs. "Remind me to send a gift basket to whoever taught you sarcasm."  
> "Most people blame Dean, but I learned it long before my foray to stop..." Cas trails off, both Gabe and him looking at Sam and then Cas amending to, "Things. I like to think the end of times helped me hone my craft."  
> "Fair."  
> "Guys, you don't have to avoid saying Apocalypse. It's fine."  
> "You get tense when we talk about it."  
> "I said it's fine."  
> "And as the wise Garth told me, Mr. Frizzles can tell when you are a liar."  
> "And I still regret introducing you."  
> "You should. Poor kid is not ready to handle the likes of me."  
> "Whatever helps you sleep at night." Sam messes up Gabriel's hair.  
> "Yes, I am sure Garth could kick your ass." Cas adds, munching on more popcorn. "He has no time for nonsense."  
> "Someone send an ambulance, my ego will never recover."


End file.
